The Grievious Bastardrie of Towne-Uppon-Sea

As astute readers know, Seatown is a pleasant vacation spot with many narrow nooks and crannies, but also a few wide avenues overlooked by shops and houses. Vagrants and the morally corrupt, however, infest its corners, and I encourage readers to review "Overcoming Common Bastardrie" for an overview of their practices. Even for those familiar with Seatown and its environs, there are a few basic principles which cannot be overstated, to wit:

• Check corners in unfamiliar buildings.
• If local bandits have taken firm hold of a thoroughfare, avoidance is a reasonable tactic. One should certainly not charge into their sights over and over and over.
• Familiarity with callouts and the magic of friendship are vital to overcoming serious challenges.

Even having understood those basics, all those who have attempted to devise bastardproof strategies have found themselves confronted with ever more prodigious bastards. I here attempt to describe some of them.

Common bastards hide in corners and bushes, often using silenced weapons. There is a red hotel in the southeast corner of the town frequented by these animals, and while the lesser of these creatures will sit on its balconies, between or on wicker chairs where they can be easily countersniped, the more cunning ones will sit deep inside the second floor restaurant, where they cannot be seen at all without magnifying optics. They are extremely difficult to dislodge without flanking them from the arches which lead to the back stairs into the building, and are generally not worth approaching.

This man is unassailable because...

To someone approaching past the well, he looks like this.

  There are other bastards of note who are possible to defeat if you are aware of them.One stays in the first floor of an apartment which is often hotly contested; he can be surprised if one is vigilant, but anyone he surprises is doomed.

This is all the warning you will have.

He has a counterpart who is much harder to see and attack. He crouches in a nook by the stairs leading into Seatown's central market, well protected by the shadows and stone wall of the stairs.

Flashbang or flank this guy.

He is after a similar sight picture to this one:

Which belongs to this guy:

Watch your killcams carefully if you are unexpectedly attacked in these areas, because all of these spots can be flanked without unusual effort.

 Inside the second floor of this house are more annoying dangers.

Like this guy.

This guy on the awning controls the connection between the bridge and the hallway...

As well as the window above the ladder.

Guys will sometimes hide on that roof if they're hurt.

And guys will lie down on these steps, especially at the start of a match.

And watch out for faces peeking out of any of these windows. The rightmost window in this image actually has a view of the window above the dumpster leading into the second floor, and can be used to snipe opponents at the start of a match. 

There are a few places which you can use to countersnipe opponents on the balconies of the red hotel: 

You can get this view of the balcony and into the second floor...

From here...

Or from here.

The target inspiring you to do this will usually be over here.

Then, there are a few more unusual places to snipe from:

And it wouldn't be MW3 without stupid glitches:

So, that's all we were able to dig up! Anyone with other comments/suggestions for dealing with jerks on Seatown, please let us know!